Watching American Idol with my Asian Mom…

Mom: Why everyone love the cochina so much?

Me: (pause) Who, JLO??

Mom: What? No, the music festival show.

Me: Oh, you mean Coachella?

Mom: The peanut butter??

Me: No, that’s Nutella.

Mom: (pause) I confuse.

Me: It’s ok.

(silence)

Mom: I’m hungry now.

Me: Me too.

Mom: I buy, you fly.

Me: (chuckle) Where did you learn to say that??

Mom: I Bang your Mother.

Me: (pause) Wait, Big Bang Theory or How I Met your Mother?

Mom: WHO CARES! JUST GO! 

Me: Sheesh…

Watching American Idol with my Asian Mom…

Mom: “Is Ryan Secret a gay?”

Me: “No.”

Mom: “How come he kissing with a Larry Bird?”

Me: “That’s not Larry Bird, it’s Ellen!”

Mom: “Then, is Simon Coward a gay?”

Me: “Why does it matter?? Can you please stop asking so many questions? I want to hear this guy sing.”

Mom: (pause) “Oh, he sing berry good… whats name of this song?”

Me: (sigh) “I don’t know, I think it’s by Brian McKnight.”

Mom: “Blind at night?”

Me: (silent)

Mom: “Why you change channel?”